Dec. 14, 2009 issue
Christmas feature: Forever family
During Advent, our adoption as God's children swirls in bright colors of hope and promise. But what happens when we have to pick up the pieces of our dreams?
By Laurie Oswald Robinson“We have an emergency,” the social worker said. “A 5-month-old girl needs a home immediately. Will you take her?”
Mother and child in Bangladesh — Photo by Melissa Engle/MCC
It was July 19, 2007. Al and I had worked hard to become licensed as foster-to-adopt parents. Now the journey was leading to a surprising destination. Foster babies were rare. We hadn’t hoped to nurture an infant.
We had married at midlife, and neither of us had children. Could this fulfill our dream of raising a family?
“I’ll call you right back.” My hands shook as I phoned Al. He agreed we should take her. We rushed to buy a car seat and met the baby at the foster care-adoption agency.
The minute we saw her, our hearts were swept away.
For the next two and a half years, those hearts tumbled down a twisting river. Its current rushed with our desire to adopt the child as part of our forever family. And it raged with the rapids of possible loss.
As we rocked her to sleep, changed her diapers, watched her first step and heard her first words, we witnessed the miracle of a child developing healthily despite infant trauma. But we worried about the uncertainty of adoption.
This year, events pulled us from hope to grief. The biological parents relinquished their rights to custody. A team of professionals determined we should be the adoptive parents. But, after an appeal by the grandparents, administrators reversed the decision. A judge upheld the reversal. On Nov. 17, 2009, the child was gone.
During Advent, our adoption as God’s children swirls in bright colors of hope and promise. But this year, for Al and me, loss and depression dull the brilliance. As we pick up the pieces of our dreams, we seek comfort in knowing that creating a forever family is God’s intention for each of us.
Rom. 8:15 assures us we need not remain in bondage to a spirit of fear, for we have “received a spirit of adoption.” The theme of adoption winds like a river through Scripture, rushing with God’s pursuit of human beings as beloved sons and daughters brought back from exile into God’s embrace.
Comments
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Thank you for reminding us that the true forever family is in the body of Christ. We are all brothers and sisters and adopted into the family of God when we become believers. We need to recognize and love the children who need spiritual parents. I write Christian fiction for teens and my first book is called Forever Family. I meant the forever family that you did! :)
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Thank you for sharing this. I, too, hurt this season as I long to be a forever family, so your perspective was helpful for me. I will remember you and Al in my prayers during this time of grief.
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I couldn't have read this at a better time. My family has been carrying three little girls (sisters)down a winding river much like yours for the past 18 months. This weekend we begin transitioning them back to their mother with limited visitation. We don't know the final destination (it will depend on the mother's ability to stay drug free), but I know we must keep our hands and hearts open to where the Lord leads. This is God's story to write,not ours.
Thank you for sharing your joy and grief so openly. Your article spoke to my heart, and I will savor its wisdom as we continue on this journey--destination unknown.
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Just know that sometimes God allows us to care, nuture, and love those at deepest need.....so He may send them to witness, disciple and love those in need. Where we are weak and not understanding, HE is strength and all-knowing! Love ya girl!
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