March 2, 2009 issue
The seat of the scornful?
By Jim BishopPage:
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I often wonder why people prefer the front of the bus, the middle of the road and the back of the church.
Jim Bishop is public information officer at Eastern Mennonite University in Harrisonburg, Va.
As an usher at Community Mennonite Church in Harrisonburg, Va., for many years, I’ve observed this phenomenon.
At sporting events, concerts and programs featuring noted speakers, people fill the front rows immediately, usually paying extra for those seats.
Why is it so difficult to get people to occupy the front pews or chairs at church?
Often, I’ll usher an individual, couple or family down the aisle toward the front, then turn around and discover no one is there. They slipped in someplace midway or nearer the back.
The other Sunday, as head usher, I stayed at the back of the sanctuary the entire service. I got little out of the proceedings between the cries of cranky and restless infants, an inability to hear or see very well and the distraction caused by a steady flow of people of all ages going in and out the doors.
Sometime ago I channeled my consternation over this state of affairs into a song, creating new lyrics to the tune of “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing,” which originated as an advertising jingle for Coca-Cola. It was sung by the Hillside Singers, featured in 1971 as a TV commercial and reached No. 5 on Billboard’s Adult Contemporary chart.
My version, on the other hand, was never publicly performed (wonder why?), but maybe I should record and try to market it these many years later. I present it here, with an invitation to try singing it, even if your kids snicker or people stare at you.
I’d like to find a seat in church
As far back to the rear
As I can be and still can see
And hear occasionally.
You’ll never find me sitting in
The first or second pew.
Those seats are for
Proud people or
Those over eighty-two.
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Comments
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Jim, Thanks and Amen! One additional advantage of sitting up front as opposed to the back row is that the singing sounds much better. You have all the singers behind you and in the rear you hear only yourself.
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I think a good theory is that if you nod off, or something the minister says makes you feel guilty, the minister can't see either if you sit way at the back.
I came across your website and I happen to be a Baptist minister's son, so that's my 2 cents.
And my dad ALWAYS made me sit right up front so he could keep an eye on me ... and then when I was old enough, I had to join the choir, so he could just turn around and see me. :-)
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When I was young, I our church had a wood heater that sat up front just to the left of the Alter; At least in the winter folks sat up front to be neer the heat. May be we need to go back to a wood hearter. Whin the Holy Spirit is bring a Message by way of his messenger; the true heat is up front by the Alter. Maybe as christens we should worm our hearts by moving closer to the Heat. I like to be as near the Fire as I can get. Liked your song I will use it. Thanks and God bless, Arnny
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