July 13, 2009 issue
‘Demons’ of abuse
By Joan Boyer Hesston, Kan.Thank you for the article about Marilyn Wolgemuth and the abuse that devastated her family. To the three “demons” mentioned — silence, secrecy and denial — could be added shame. Many women are trapped in the box of shame, and it colors everything in their lives.
I’ve known many survivors in various stages of recovery: Some seem to heal, not completely, but they function well; some don’t heal after years of help. This help is difficult, painful and very costly, and some simply can’t afford it. Others may choose not to live with what is too difficult to bear. Anorexia, bulimia, cutting, promiscuity, suicide and other issues often follow sexual abuse.
My hope is that as we begin to minister to abusers we don’t discount, invalidate or minimize the trauma to the victims.
Abusers can be forgiven, but that doesn’t mean that they are able to be around children safely. We need to educate ourselves about the signs of sexual abuse in children. The statistics that one woman in three and one man in four to five has been abused are true. Each of us knows a child, or more than one, who is being abused. May God grant us wisdom and courage as we minister to and protect the children.
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