Jan. 16 issue
Question changes over time
By John A. EsauPage:
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I recently ordered a book through AbeBooks.com. If you don’t know about this website as a way to find used books, I urge you to check it out.
Esau
AbeBooks offers millions of books through thousands of booksellers.
Our not-for-profit bookstore in Newton, Kan., Book ReViews, uses AbeBooks to list the books we choose to sell on the Internet. We ship books around the world and have somewhere close to 4,000 books listed.
Volunteering at Book ReViews, I list new donations that have some relationship to Anabaptist or Mennonite faith, either by subject matter or author. Others work with other categories. I add 10 volumes to our listings twice a month.
A book I ordered through AbeBooks is Saying Goodbye: A Time of Growth for Congregations and Pastors, edited by Edward A. White and published by the Alban Institute. It is a collection of essays on the ending of the pastoral relationship in a congregation.
Apparently I have lost or lent my original copy; at least I couldn’t find it recently.
I wanted it because I contributed to it. In 1989 I saw a request for essays on pastoral termination. I had just written a column for Mennonite Weekly Review on “How Long Should a Pastor Stay?” I submitted it, along with a letter to a Mennonite conference minister, which I called “Dear Henry.” That was the last I heard.
When the Alban Institute published Saying Goodbye, I ordered a copy. There were my two essays. I didn’t so much as receive an acknowledgement or a free copy. Now I have purchased it for the second time just to have a copy of my own published work.
The original column contained the following paragraph: “Over the life cycle of a pastorate there is a gradual shift of the appropriate question which pastors should be asking themselves, from ‘Why would I leave?’ to ‘Why should I stay?’ In other words, in the early years the burden is to justify leaving, while as the years move on the burden shifts to justifying staying.”
The subtle nature of the shift between these two questions continues to intrigue me. As time moves on, it means that there should be a more compelling reason to continue in a role than the simple facts that one is already there and it is going well. It is very easy to either ignore or miss the shift of important questions.
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Comments
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Don't go as a columnist quite yet, John.
I have always appreciated the many insights into pastor-congregation relationships you have shared over the years in MWR. And in more recent times, your reflections on other topics too.
I'd be interested to see how you might apply the "should I leave/should I stay" rubric to pastors who discontinue pastoring, or retire, but--after an appropriate hiatus--remain in or return to their former congregations.
My wife and I are former pastors of a smallish urban congregation. After a very positive 7 years, we took an overseas assignment with a Mennonite church agency (for the "time to leave" reasons you suggest) which we continue today. Having no other Mennonite church option in our community, chose to keep our membership in the former congregation. They even formalized a "partnership" with us in our work.
We're now in our 7th year overseas. During our most recent return to our congregation a year ago, during a 5-month North American leave, it became pretty clear that our church connection is losing vitality. We did not feel quite the same warmth of "embrace." There was resistance to continuing to engage in formal partnership with us. New people have joined since our departure, including occupying leadership positions, and our appearance on a Sunday morning, which included a sermon and presentation, seemed to make some uncomfortable...at least we felt awkward. Since our return overseas, folks who used to email us occasionally have stopped doing so. And this past Christmas almost no Christmas cards!
Having originally decided it was "time to stay," we ask: are we now at a "time to leave" moment? (We'll be finished with our assignment in the not too distant future and are not sure this congregation will be "home.") More generally, I'd be interested in your observations, from this vantage point in your life, about pastors remaining in their congregations? Would you please consider that topic for a column before you leave (which, again, I hope is not yet). Or even just reply in this forum.
One more thing: I'm disappointed that an esteemed professional organization like Alban Institute did not give you credit for your essays. That's disgraceful. They should know better.
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