Jan. 23 issue
Winding road of loss, love leads old friends together
By Laurie Oswald Robinson For Mennonite Weekly ReviewHESSTON, Kan. — After Roy Unruh lost two wives in tragic accidents, he struggled to trust that God would provide strength and courage to meet the trials that lay before him.
Mildred Martens-Unruh and Roy Unruh — Photo provided
But he never dreamed his path would include a third marriage, to Mildred Martens. Mildred was the best friend of his first wife, Delores, and also the wife of his best friend, the late Mel Martens.
Today, Roy Unruh and Mildred Martens-Unruh are best friends, as they share married life as 80-year-olds. They tell their story of how God led them down winding roads of loss and love in their self-published book, Two Feet Apart at the Altar: Four Love Stories and Five People.
“When tragedy strikes, many people stop believing in a God who allows bad things to happen,” Roy Unruh said in a recent interview. “I grappled with those feelings with the help of a book, The Nature of God’s Will, that a friend gave to me after Delores died.
“I hammered out my theology about God and decided that the only thing God wills is that humans understand God’s love for all humankind and that God is the creator of the entire universe … . Even in the midst of tragedy, we are invited to experience God as a loving God who wants us to bless others with this love.”
Martens-Unruh said, “In writing our book, I wanted people to know that regardless of what happens, God will be there and will help us through it. It won’t be easy, and the journey may be long. But God really is there.”
Life ripped by tragedy
The striking note in the book is the authors’ certitude in the goodness of God’s pattern for their lives, even when that pattern was thrown into chaos by the unexpected.
The pattern began simply and orderly enough. The four young people grew up in the predominantly Mennonite community near Inman and Buhler and were graduates of Inman High School.
After graduation, they sought vocations and marriage partners. The Martens were the first couple to be married, followed by the Unruhs. When Mel and Mildred got married, they asked Roy and Delores to be best man and maid of honor.
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