January 25
What I would tell my children about sexuality
By Brian McLaren[Editor’s note: Read a response to Brian McLaren’s blog post here.]
A reader recently wrote to me: “I am writing a curriculum for my six home schooled kids and am addressing homosexuality … [and I am wondering if you think] we should accept homosexuals into Christian circles in the same way we accept men and women in unmarried sexual relationships, but with the goal of fellowshipping together with Jesus who would lead them to a life of dying to oneself rather than gratifying oneself.”
It’s pretty clear that the way many Christians respond to gay folks today is pretty far from what Jesus himself did or would do.
I think gay and straight folks are in the same boat — we all have to learn how to manage our sexual desires without becoming unhealthily repressed on the one hand and without becoming unhealthily obsessed on the other.
I think gay and straight folks have two moral options: celibacy and fidelity in the context of a committed relationship. (I would call it marriage, but others would rather not call it that for gay folks.)
It’s so good that you want to help your kids learn about human sexuality from you, since there’s so much harmful static they could take in from secular and religious sources.
If my kids were small today, I would tell them that most people are attracted to the opposite sex, but that some people — maybe three to six out of a hundred — are attracted to the same sex. I also might make a comparison to how most people are right-handed, but some are left-handed. I’d tell them most people start figuring that out when they’re teenagers, and they’ll be loved and accepted and safe either way. I’d tell them they can always talk to me about anything and ask any question.
I’d make sure to welcome gay folks in our home so our kids can get to know them as friends. I’d tell them how some people tease and make fun of gay people, and I’d urge them always to stand up for people who get teased … because God loves everyone and wants everyone to be safe and respected.
You might not see things just as I do, so you might take a different approach, but since you asked, I thought I’d share my approach. I’m confident that even if we differ, you’ll teach your kids that Jesus is our example in how to treat others, and his way is love … and that’s a huge step forward for all of us!
Brian McLaren is an author, speaker and activist who writes at brianmclaren.net, where this blog post originally appeared.
Comments
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First, it was the pre-incarnate Christ who ordered fire and brimstone down from Heaven on Sodom and Gomorrah because of their sinful homosexual lifestyle. It was Jesus who said, “I and my Father are one.” It was Jesus who confirmed marriage to be between a man and a woman as first noted in Genesis. Since Jesus defined what marriage is, it is not necessary for him to define in exact detail what marriage is not.
No place in the Bible is being left handed rather than right handed considered sinful as in same sex sinful lifestyles. We are all born with a sinful nature that is expressed early in life in different ways.
Secondly, if Brian believes it important to invite openly gay people into his home for the benefit of his children, I also hope he feels it important to invite drunkards/alcoholics, drug addicts, prostitutes and people living in open adultery for the benefit of his children.
We should love and pray for homosexuals just like we love pray for other people who live in sin until their hearts, lives and minds are unshackled. Hopefully, Brian will eventually see the truth of the Bible, but until then he most likely will continue to blog messages like this.
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Dale,
Homosexuality is simply not a sin.
Hate is a sin.
James M. Branum Minister of Peace & Justice Joy Mennonite Church Oklahoma City, OK (speaking only for myself)
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Also Jesus did not rain down fire and brimstone on Sodom & Gomorrah. I'm not sure where you get that from because it is in't in the text.
Also according to the text, they were not punished for being homosexuals. They were punished because they wanted to rape angels.
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Would that we could press "like", Mr. Branum.
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James,thank you for your comments.
I am addressing the homosexual issue in Brian’s blog in my comment on S & G.
Are you denying that the men at Lot’s front door were sin lusting homosexuals? It was both cities that were destroyed, not just these men with rape desires.
The men at Lot’s front door believed the two visitors with Lot were men. Their homosexual desires were so intense they wanted to rape Lot’s two guests, appearing as men. They preferred to have sex with these men rather than have sex with Lot’s daughters.
Who was the person standing with Abraham that had power and authority to rain fire and brimstone on S & G cities? -
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Repent! This was Jesus' first message! Empty yourselves of your ways so that there will be room for My ways! This was an equal opportunity message! He gave it to the highly regarded- the Pharisees and teachers of the law, admonishing them to empty themselves of their pride and self-righteousness, and he gave this message to those regarded with disdain - the woman caught in adultery, the sinners with whom He ate and drank. Repent! Repent so there is room for the Lord! Repent so that times of refreshing can come! Repent! He called out for a holiness that was unheard of, one that would fulfill the moral code of the law but go even further - extending to even the thoughts and motivations of the heart. And this was good news! True repentance, true emptying would leave room for His Holy Spirit, the bringer of this righteousness! Repentance would pave the way for full reconciliation and relationship with the waiting Father.
Why should anyone be excluded from this transformative work of the Holy Spirit? Repentance is for each one of us. The religious man is not excluded, he can repent of his pride and be filled with the transforming power of the holy spirit. Neither is the man who engages in a homosexual act. Repentance is for this man, a gift that leads to fullness of the Holy Spirit, forgiveness, and life everlasting! This is the Good News that we all need so desperately!
For the homeschooling family who wants to honor God in how they treat those struggling with this sin or that sin- be kind. Because it is the Lord's kindness that leads to this great gift of repentance. Eat and drink with all kinds of sinners, but don't forget to hold out the call to repentance just as our savior Jesus did and still does.
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For gay children everywhere, I would wish parents speaking with words like this. Not only would it "get better" - it would start better.
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